This is how I picture Ernie, except with a package in his arms instead of a machine gun:
To all who visited Lund, Ernie seemed like just another UPS driver. He wore the same brown uniform and drove the same brown truck. But, according to legend (i.e. folks around town), he was not your ordinary delivery man. Ernie knew everybody's name, everybody's address, and even most of the dogs. More importantly, Ernie never missed an opportunity to do his job and to do it well. Winter time around here pretty much equals Mud with a capital M. And, I think I can safely say that 90% of the people here live on unpaved roads; in other words, you have to go through a lot of mud to get to anybody's front door. For a UPS truck, this can pose serious problems in the winter, when even I sink 2-3 inches in the mud just walking around. Times me by 1000 and that's what a UPS truck weighs (roughly, of course). But do you think all that mud stopped Ernie from delivering his precious cargo? No. On really bad days, they say Ernie actually called his beloved patrons and set up a meeting spot on the highway so they could still get their packages.
Unfortunately, Ernie retired last year. Apparently he saved up something like 8 months of vacation time and retired early. We have a new driver now. Chris. Oh Chris. Poor Chris. He will never be able to escape being compared to Ernie. And unfortunately, he doesn't really help. He's gone every other day for various reasons and, as Ron puts it, he's totally union. He just does the bare minimum. Even at Christmas! We had people furiously calling down at Carter Ag begging us to have Chris leave their packages down there so they could get their presents in time for the big day. But, I digress. This post is about Ernie. Let me just say this: not a week goes by when I don't hear about Ernie. My coworkers mourn his loss, mothers teach their children the value of hard work through his example, and the townsfolk are currently building a monument to his name. Just kidding on those last two. But seriously, he's a big deal. And now you know.
